I have spent a career hiring, motivating, confusing, annoying and retaining developers. I am not going to go so far as to say I understand you guys, but I do know what makes a good developer. More importantly, I know what makes someone a bad fit for the team I am recruiting for.
First impressions are important. Yeah, I know, it sucks and your technical prowess should speak for itself, but it doesn’t. Let’s face it, if you forget the “L” in Klocwork in your cover letter, I’m laughing too hard to pay attention to your superior coding skills.
If you continually refer to me as “Sir”, my feminist nose gets a bit out of joint; resumes filled with spelling errors throw into question your attention to detail and your level of concern for putting forth solid code.
While I am on the subject of resumes, it’s very impressive that people have the experience to fill up 15 pages of a resume. Maybe it’s even impressive that they have the time to type out a 15-page resume, but no one else has the time or the inclination to read a 15-page resume. To date, the record length for a resume that I have received is 25 pages – this person is not employed here.
Being in this industry and in HR for as long as I have, I have learned something shocking – people stretch the truth on their resumes! Imagine that! And then imagine a company having the audacity to have someone in for an interview and test the person to assess whether what they claim on their resume is actually the case. Of course, as a candidate, you should then take great offense to the fact that my colleagues and I called into question your integrity, your intelligence, and your worth as a citizen of the world. In fact, you should probably follow up your interview with a strongly worded e-mail addressed to Sir at Kocwork. Or maybe you shouldn’t.
Just…don’t…do…that. We are not attacking your credibility. We do not enter the interview room thinking you are a lying, worthless waste of skin. In fact, we are pretty excited to meet you, so far we have liked what we have seen, otherwise you would not be here.
We will remain excited to meet you, right up to the point where you show up half an hour late, wearing a questionable outfit covered with what appears to be last week’s Sunday dinner. Maybe you will look me in the eye, or maybe you will direct your eyes to my chest and keep them fixed there throughout the interview. When that happens I like to observe where your eyes remain clamped when my male coworkers are interviewing you because inevitably it has nothing to do with what is on the interviewer’s chest. It’s just a convenient place to rest one’s gaze. However, between you and me, it kinda freaks me out.
I found this blog to be rather cathartic. I have more, so much more and if I am invited back as a guest blogger, maybe my therapy bills will go down. Until we meet across a table in our interview room, I wish you good luck and good code!